12 Golf Rules You Won’t Find In The Rule Book

Like most golfers, I have a pretty good grasp of the basic rules of golf. Recently I came across a few “unpublished” rules that should definitely be included as a part of the official book. Here are the first 12!   ~ with apologies to the USGA

Golfers12 Golf Rules You Won’t Find In The Rule Book

  • LAW 1:
 No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have Inner Peace knowing 
that a shittier one is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th 
hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of
 a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
  • LAW 2:
 Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst 
round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of 
people you tell about the former.
  • LAW 3:
 Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proved in the 
lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater 
its attraction to water. Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made 
with this most unusual natural alloy.
  • LAW 4: 
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree 
is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
  • LAW 5: 
The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he or she deems him/herself as an 
  • LAW 6
: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your 
group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a 
football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS
agent — or some similar combination.
  • LAW 7:
 All 3-woods are demon-possessed. Your Mother in Law does not come close.
  • LAW 8:
 Golf balls from the same “sleeve” tend to follow one another, particularly 
out of bounds or into the water. See LAW 3.
  • LAW 9: 
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to 
what it really should be.
  • LAW 10: 
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 11:
 All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.
  • LAW 12: 
Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot 
is really the beginning of the next group of three.

. . . .

Do you have a few more golf rules that aren’t in the books? Add yours below.


  5 comments for “12 Golf Rules You Won’t Find In The Rule Book

  1. Ree
    July 25, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    Ha ha! Every single one of these is true! A water hazard could be behind me, and my brand new golf ball will find it’s way in 🙂

    • July 25, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      How is it that golf balls find themselves so easily in the drink? I think it all hinges on the golf gods.

  2. kwakpro
    August 3, 2013 at 5:23 am

    thanks you for good information

  3. July 9, 2013 at 10:10 am

    HAHAHAHAHA this is super funny….
    Way to go Pat.
    2 weeks ago, I played in a tournament and had great scores for the first 6 holes….. I thought ” I am on the way to a great game today”…. Oops… not so much. Crashed and burned the 13th-16th. My score plummeted to a plain old horrible round. It’s so hard to stay positive with this kind of outcome… but I changed my mindset and said “well, I usually suck the first few holes, so this is a plus!” I always try to find ONE pathetic thing to do well each round. Some year I’ll put it all together!

    • Pat Mullaly
      July 9, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      Kathy… the trick is to get those really good holes to repeat. I figure if I get through a round and haven’t lost a ball or two I am on the upswing!!!

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